Tuesday, March 07, 2006
The Ultimate Weapon
This is time for a horrible, horrible confession. Now mind you I am the absolutely nicest person in the world. One of those ultra-diplomatic Libras who gets along with practically anyone and everyone. However I be just too damn nice, which led me to creating a relationship where I allowed my ex to disrespect me to no end, to not take me seriously, not do shit for me and rightfully assume (for a time) that I wasn’t going no damn where so he could continue with his bullshit. Fortunately I came to my senses and put into practice one of the things that my Mama did teach me about men that does work and that is if you are ending a relationship you MUST CEASE ALL FORMS OF COMMUNICATION with him so that both of you can truly get over each other and move on with your life.
We have some interesting circumstances so we aren’t divorced yet, just separated for over a year. Nevertheless I have had absolutely no communication with him for the past six months…Yay!!! And it has done wonders for his disposition, respect for me and even how he treats me. Let’s just say in his attempted communication with me he has become the nice, kind, respectful man that I thought I had married. And yes once again he does take me seriously.
So here is what happened. I was trying to call my sister-in-law for her birthday. And I couldn’t find her number anywhere. I called my two brother-in-laws and neither of them were available so I had no choice but to have my sister call my ex to get his sisters number so I can call her. Now mind you in the past six months I didn’t call him on Christmas, New Years, wish him Happy Birthday, send him Valentines greetings or anything so for me to have my sister call him to get his sisters number so I could call her on her birthday was kind of ridiculous.
I really didn’t know of any other way to get her number so of course I had no option but to do so. Anyways it just so happened that my ex had taken my sister-in-law and her friends out for her birthday and she was right there with him when I had my sister call so he just handed my sister-in-law the phone. So we are chit chatting, exchanging birthday greetings and everything and in the back of my mind I am thinking what is my ex thinking. Crazy shit has got to running through his head. And my sister-in-law who means well but just doesn’t understand the rules of being a smart nice bitch as opposed to a stupid nice bitch told me to hold on and put him on the phone.
Now being the nice girl that I am, I was like panicking. I mean what do I do??? I was trying to hand the phone to my sister and I heard him in the background saying that I wasn’t going to talk to him and my sister motioned to me to hang up and that is what I did. Man, I felt SOO BAD!!! I don’t think I have ever hung up on anyone. The only thing that might not make it so bad is that it was international calls randomly drop all the time and maybe he doesn’t know that I did hang up on him. But my ex knowing me probably knows that I really did hang up in his face.
I sat down for a second and was feeling all guilty and everything and then after a couple minutes, a big ole smile broke out on my face and I started cracking up about the irony of the situation. Man, the shit we females have to do sometimes just to restore respect in a relationship after giving our power away. Nevertheless the hang-up was necessary. I know that when I choose to talk to my ex again it will be on my terms and at my choosing for my benefit and this situation wasn’t the right time or the place.
So that is how I used the “Ultimate Weapon” the HANG-UP to make my point!!! I’m telling you girls, it works every time.
This is time for a horrible, horrible confession. Now mind you I am the absolutely nicest person in the world. One of those ultra-diplomatic Libras who gets along with practically anyone and everyone. However I be just too damn nice, which led me to creating a relationship where I allowed my ex to disrespect me to no end, to not take me seriously, not do shit for me and rightfully assume (for a time) that I wasn’t going no damn where so he could continue with his bullshit. Fortunately I came to my senses and put into practice one of the things that my Mama did teach me about men that does work and that is if you are ending a relationship you MUST CEASE ALL FORMS OF COMMUNICATION with him so that both of you can truly get over each other and move on with your life.
We have some interesting circumstances so we aren’t divorced yet, just separated for over a year. Nevertheless I have had absolutely no communication with him for the past six months…Yay!!! And it has done wonders for his disposition, respect for me and even how he treats me. Let’s just say in his attempted communication with me he has become the nice, kind, respectful man that I thought I had married. And yes once again he does take me seriously.
So here is what happened. I was trying to call my sister-in-law for her birthday. And I couldn’t find her number anywhere. I called my two brother-in-laws and neither of them were available so I had no choice but to have my sister call my ex to get his sisters number so I can call her. Now mind you in the past six months I didn’t call him on Christmas, New Years, wish him Happy Birthday, send him Valentines greetings or anything so for me to have my sister call him to get his sisters number so I could call her on her birthday was kind of ridiculous.
I really didn’t know of any other way to get her number so of course I had no option but to do so. Anyways it just so happened that my ex had taken my sister-in-law and her friends out for her birthday and she was right there with him when I had my sister call so he just handed my sister-in-law the phone. So we are chit chatting, exchanging birthday greetings and everything and in the back of my mind I am thinking what is my ex thinking. Crazy shit has got to running through his head. And my sister-in-law who means well but just doesn’t understand the rules of being a smart nice bitch as opposed to a stupid nice bitch told me to hold on and put him on the phone.
Now being the nice girl that I am, I was like panicking. I mean what do I do??? I was trying to hand the phone to my sister and I heard him in the background saying that I wasn’t going to talk to him and my sister motioned to me to hang up and that is what I did. Man, I felt SOO BAD!!! I don’t think I have ever hung up on anyone. The only thing that might not make it so bad is that it was international calls randomly drop all the time and maybe he doesn’t know that I did hang up on him. But my ex knowing me probably knows that I really did hang up in his face.
I sat down for a second and was feeling all guilty and everything and then after a couple minutes, a big ole smile broke out on my face and I started cracking up about the irony of the situation. Man, the shit we females have to do sometimes just to restore respect in a relationship after giving our power away. Nevertheless the hang-up was necessary. I know that when I choose to talk to my ex again it will be on my terms and at my choosing for my benefit and this situation wasn’t the right time or the place.
So that is how I used the “Ultimate Weapon” the HANG-UP to make my point!!! I’m telling you girls, it works every time.
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